My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
