NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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