So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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