So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
