her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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