i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
