I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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