...so i touched it.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
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I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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