i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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