Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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