My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
