Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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