Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You made out with two different species that night
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
