Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
