plz talk dirty to me
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
