hell yes lets make some ravioli
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
