Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
