dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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