The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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