those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
