i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
another moral hangover. fuck.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
