We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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