Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
