Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
PANTIES FOUND
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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