you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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