why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
