my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize