i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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