dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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