You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
