her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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