doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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