..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
