he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
