Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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