ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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