I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
