You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
