If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
