drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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