Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
