In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
