I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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