put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
