I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
