I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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