he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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