I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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