You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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