I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My balls are so social today.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
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The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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