I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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