If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
