you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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