never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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