Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
