I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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