he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
