Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
This is my gift to your gina
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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