I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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