FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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