You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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