im drinking this country out of the recession.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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