..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
